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In my last post, I talked about what life looked like for me before the 'semi-colon' transition that happened in my life. Before that transition, I didn't believe joy was a possibility anymore; I couldn't even imagine being able to feel anything other than pain and suffering. Then something extrodinary happened. I found the television show Law & Order: SVU, which led me to Mariska Hargitay.
Many years ago, when Mariska starting filming SVU, she began to get letters from survivors of sexual assault who disclosed their stories to her, many for the first time. Many survivors can connect with the character Mariska plays on this show and because of that, many feel like they can trust her. As these letters were pouring in, Mariska started to realise just how big of a problem sexual violence is and she felt a need to do something about it. This is when the Joyful Heart Foundation was born. Mariska was swimming with dolphins one day and had a sudden vision, she was going to start a foundation that helps survivors, there will be retreats where survivors can go and heal and experience the power and magic of getting to swim with wild dolphins. Joyful Heart was founded 10 years ago and boy has it grown and accomplished some absolutely incredible feats when it comes to helping survivors heal, advocating for survivors, and helping to heal the healers.
This foundation fundamentally changed my life. I felt a strong connection to the organization and I learned so much about myself, who I am and how to reclaim my joyful life. I have been a suppoter of this organization for many years and hope to one day be able to help them lead an expansion to Canada. December of 2012 I had the great honor of being invited to the annual gala for the Joyful Heart Foundation. Through the help of my family and friends, I was able to raise the funds to go to this event in New York City in May of 2013.
The 6th Annual Joyful Revolution Gala was a defining moment in my life after the semi-colon.
6th Annual Joyful Revolution Gala - Yes, Risk, Joy! May 9th, 2013 - The story
It’s hard to be able to put this experience into words because words do not seem to be able to do enough. It was life changing, breath taking, heart breaking, and heart healing.
From the moment I walked into the doors of that building, something in me changed. I knew in that moment I was exactly where I needed to be. It was so surreal to walk through those doors and to take in everything that was happening around me. I remember my friend Shannon telling me, “Maile is right over there". Maile Zambuto is the CEO of the Joyful Heart Foundation and someone I've looked up to and admired for many years. I turned quickly only to see a glimpse of her when I had to turn around again because my eyes filled with such joyful tears. I couldn’t believe I was standing only feet away from the woman that changed my life and gave me so many gifts without even realizing it. She gave me the gift of understanding that “By helping to heal others, you can heal yourself.” These words fundamentally changed my life and I thank her so much for it. As we were mingling we ran into Danny Pino, whom we actually saw filming for SVU earlier that day. We also ran into Peter Hermann, Kelli Giddish, Debra Messing and Andrea Buchanan and had chats with them as well. Getting to meet Peter Hermann and talk with him like we've all known each other for years was a moment I'll never forget. There is such power in strength in that mans eyes.
As everyone was standing around and chatting with each other and mingling, a marching band came through to inform us it was time to sit down and let the gala begin. Peter got up on stage and began his speech which included the top 10 reasons why he was hosting the event (which was hilarious) and then he began to move into more serious topics. Topics such as what Joyful Heart does and why they do what they do. He also read the poem that was on the gala invite card called Snowdrops by Louise Gluck. This poem is incredibly touching, especially the last few lines that go. “afraid, yes, but among you again crying yes risk joy in the raw wind of the new world”. This poem and these words really resonate with me because I am beginning a new chapter of my life and I am scared, but I am going forth and crying YES, RISK, JOY! Next Mariska and Maile Zambuto got up on stage to begin their speech on introducing the incredible Sukey Novogratz and presenting her with the Heart of Gold award.
Maile also took a moment to explain the deep meaning of the nights theme which was YES, RISK, JOY. This theme speaks a lot to the journey of a survivor. She said "YES is the beginning. JOY is the hard-won, precious prize at the end. And everything in between is RISK. The risk of feeling again, beginning again, letting go, entertaining the possibility of maybe attempting to trust again".
There was one part in particular of Maile’s speech that really struck a cord for me and hit deep down. She said this,
"By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it." - Maile Zambuto quoting Kafka
This quote made me tear up because it reminded me of everything I hope and dream about in regards to working for Joyful Heart and ultimately leading them into an expansion to Canada. This quote right here redoubled my passion and determination on accomplishing my dreams. Every day I come closer to creating it.
Sukey then got up on stage and bravely bared her soul to the 500 people that were there that night. She told her story of how she was brutally gang raped and how she reclaimed her life after. She said Yes to healing, she took the Risk, and now she has Joy. At the end of Sukey's speech, she said this beautiful words,
"After many years being out on the look-out-post of my life, searching for signs to connect the dots, I have come to see the beautiful constellation of living. And I am here to report that it is magnificent. Today I choose to see the magic that surrounds me…I live in grace, in poetry, in magic that is my song. And it’s all going to be more than ok".
At the end of Sukey’s speech, she began to sing “Be Okay” by Ingrid Michaelson. It was so beautiful and the perfect song for the perfect moment. Then Ingrid herself got up on stage with Sukey and sang, shortly after the whole place started singing along too.
Sukey stood out that night, literally and figuratively. She had on a hot pink princess dress and the idea behind that was she was reclaiming her 17 year old self. That girl was lost for many years because of her assault, but now she finally found her again. You should have seen her on the dance floor when the after-party started. I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life. Thank you Sukey for being so so brave and changing everyone’s life that was in that room that night.
Mariska and Maile got back on stage after that to thank Sukey and then introduced Mary J Blige to the stage. Mary J Blige honored Sukey that night and then sang a bit of “The Living Proof” to Sukey because she truly is the living proof.
"So many don’t survive, they just don’t make it through, but look at you, you’re the living proof."
After this Peter got back up on stage and talked about some of Joyful Heart’s programs. He really highlighted the “Heal the Healers” program and the “End the Backlog” program. They had a survivor take the stage and tell her story of her rape kit being in the backlog and also had a lady who got to participate in the Heal the Healers program after the devastating Sandy Hook School shooting. There is no doubt after hearing their stories that Joyful Heart is making such a huge difference to people’s lives.
We then got to view some No More PSA’s that were absolutely incredible. They also showed us a few outtakes, the one of Mariska and the one of Chris Meloni was absolutely heart wrenching.
Next was the auction which was so much fun and so so incredible! The generosity of some people is breathtaking. Because of everyone there and all the generosity in the room, Joyful Heart was able to raise over 2 million dollars to aid in their mission to heal, educate and empower survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse and to shed light into the darkness that surrounds these issues.
There was part of the night where Mariska and Maile were walking around to each table to visit everyone. When they got to our table my heart started to raise. I walked up to Maile and the first thing she said was “I’m so glad you could make it”. I then gave her the piece of paper that had my bucket list on it and got her to cross off #9 which was to meet her. Later in the evening I got a photo with her that I will keep very near and dear to my heart. Mariska was right next to me so I got to talk to her too and I told her “I’m the Canadian that has the crazy idea to expand Joyful Heart into Canada.”. You should have seen her eyes when I said this and the way she said “GREAT!”. Then something clicked in her memory and she said “Wait, aren’t you the one who made that painting!? I have it!”. I said yes that was me and she turned to Maile with pure joy and said “This is the Canadian girl with the painting!”. Maile smiled and said “Yes, I know”. Then Mariska and Maile had to get going to greet the rest of the guests. Those short few minutes will be forever remembered and I will cherish them forever more. They will be used to fuel my dreams and ignite my determination even further.
The after party was next. I really can’t describe how absolutely incredible and joyful that was. How many times can you say you partied with your heroes? That you all celebrated a night of healing, joy, risk and success? There was so much joy, so much dancing and so much singing our joyful hearts out. I still can’t believe how many times that night I was dancing right next to Joyful Heart staff, Maile, Mariska and Sukey. So surreal.
The photo booth was also such an awesome experience. It was so amazing to capture those moments like we did. They also had “No More” white boards where you can write on. Shannon and I took a photo together and our board said “No More being afraid of speaking out!” - That was really what the night was all about. Breaking free of the chains of fear that keep us trapped, to move past the trauma, take the risk, and reclaim our joy.
I want to leave you with this quote from Maile, a quote that wraps up nicely what the purpose of the gala was and the main point everyone should leave the gala with and carry in their hearts,
"If we are able to communicate only one thing about a survivors journey, it is this: never ever underestimate your power to affect its course, your willingness to listen and bare witness, your willingness to let your voice be heard in support of a survivor, you saying simply “My god, I am so sorry that happened to you” I promise you it can change a persons life.” - Maile Zambuto
Dreams really do come true and life after the semi-colon is magical.
XOXO S