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July 12th I attended my 6th Keith Urban concert and met this extraordinary man for the 3rd time!
I've spent a lot of time reflecting on how with each experience, each concert, my life has grown, expanded, been filled more and more with joy. Each time I've been to Keith's shows is a different chapter in my life, each show with their own special meaning. It is also extraordinary how each show has come at the perfect timing, a time where I needed a boost, needed some joy, needed a reminder that everything is going to be okay.
I've always enjoyed Keith's music; I was brought up on country music so I grew up listening to Garth Brooks, Alan Jackson, Reba, etc. But it was always Keith's sound that made me feel the most alive. Although, it wasn't until I had been affected by sexual assault did his music take on a deeper and stronger connection. After being assaulted, my sense of safety was ripped away from me, I spent every waking moment feeling unsafe, scared and alone. It was only when I turned on Keith's music on my ipod that I would be engulfed in this sense of safety. When I closed my eyes and listened to Keith's music, I felt there was nothing in this world that could hurt me anymore, I didn't feel so alone, and most importantly Keith would take me away from the haunting and crippling memories of being assaulted. There is no words to describe how precious of a gift that was to me.
Keith also greatly helped me overcoming some demons we unfortunately have in common. After being assaulted, the only coping tools I had were to try to numb my pain. With that came substance abuse, I would often abuse drugs and alcohol in order to try to drown out the immense pain I was feeling. It was Keith's life example, his songs like You're Not Alone Tonight, Nobody Drinks Alone, You're Not My God, and the themost important song Everybody that helped me rise above. I don't know where I would be today with out his help to get better.
So to say the least, Keith Urban has been a large part of my life and has helped me through some incredibly tough situations.
July 12th, 2014 was the day of Keith Urban's concert for the Calgary Stampede. I was blessed to have tickets to the show and a meet and greet pass. To say I was excited and over the moon that day would be a major understatement. And I couldn't have asked for a better friend to share the day with, Karen. Karen came into my life back in November 2010 during a long night camping out at a mall for Keith Urban front of the line passes. I've had a strong connection with her ever since. Karen is yet another blessing brought to me through the power of Keith.
On the day of the concert, Karen and I made our way to the Calgary Stampede grounds and checked that out for a little. When it was almost time for the meet and greet, Karen and I were heading to the arena when we saw Jerry Flowers (Keith Urban's long time band member) just casually walking to the arena. We managed to catch his attention and had a nice chat with him. He also was sweet enough to let us take a photo with him!
The day was starting out on an excellent foot and we hadn't even seen Keith yet. We all parted ways when we got to the arena and I excitedly waited to go backstage to meet Keith. It wasn't long before the group of lucky meet and greet winners were escorted down, and with every step we took, the more butterflies were in my stomach. I didn't have to wait long before it was my turn to walk in that room. I took a deep breath and took that step in. Instantly I was met with Keith's big smile and his wide-open arms waiting for me to be wrapped around them. Receiving a hug like that from Keith, every muscle in my body relaxed, tension and anxiety that I still carry around from being sexually assaulted was released in that moment. I was safe. We let go and got into position to take the photo. The flash went off and the perfect moment was captured. I then turned to Keith and with another deep breathe, I told him how much his music means to me and how I don't know where I would be if it weren't for him. It was then that the look in his eyes changed. He wasn't just looking at me, he was seeing me, seeing everything about me and then he brought up his hands and opened them so the space of my hands could fit into his perfectly and gently. Without saying a word, I knew everything Keith was trying to communicate with me in that moment. I continued to briefly tell him how he has helped me through so much and then mentioned how amazing and appreciated Nicole's work with UN Women is. You should have seen Keith's face light up when I said that! It was precious! And then just like that, the meet and greet was over. But it was a jam packed few minutes that spands miles in my heart.
Thank you for everything Keith.
As I walked (skipped) out the meet and greet room and went to find my seat on the arena floor, believe it or not, Jerry Flowers spotted me, tapped on my shoulder and asked how my meet and greet was. With a smile from ear to ear, I said, "Perfect".
I went to find my seat and soon found my friend Karen. I ran up to her and gave her the biggest hug, completely overcome with excitement and preceded to tell her all about the experience. We took our seats, the opener started to play and I was finally struck by the raw emotions of what had just happened. The tears started to roll down my face, not tears of sadness or pain, but the tears of joy, the tears of feeling perfectly safe, the tears of feeling like life is magical, life is wonderful and life is so very very much worth living!
As Keith says in one of my favorite songs, "everybody needs somebody sometimes". Thanks for always being there on my itunes Keith. Thanks for never leaving my side, thanks for giving me so many precious gifts, and thank you for making me feel so alive again.