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It's been a while since my last entry and life has been busy. But 2014 is over, and 2015 is just beginning. This is always a great time of year to reflect; to reflect on how far we've come, reflect on our mis-steps and triumphs. When I look back at 2014 I realize this past year has been a struggle. There were many disappointments this year, and a lot moments where I had to face some tough challenges. As glad as I am that the year is over, I am grateful for all the lessons learned and all the healing done.
This year has been a bit different than the last few. So many incredible dreams came true within the last few years, I graduated university, I travelled to New York (twice), I meet hero's like Mariska and Maile, I've attended the JHF gala (which I never thought would come true in a million years), I was even featured in a local magazine. A lot of incredible things have happened for me and as extraordinary as that was, this year I had to do a lot of ground work. My head space has very much been focused on my immediate surroundings, connecting with my present, my past and those who shared those times with me. Now more than even, I am going back and exploring who I was and who I am becoming. Now that I've graduated, I am really trying to figure out where I belong. I thought I had that all figured out (as we all do), but I was met with a lot of disappointment when I actually got face to face with that. My local dream job turned out to be not such a dream after all, organizations I held up on a pedestal came crashing down, and my self-esteem went crashing down with it. Bank loans are piling up and I still feel no closer to figuring out how to get to that place I want to be.
2015 is going to be another soul searching year, testing my limits, propelling myself beyond my fears. I am both excited and terrified to see what this year has in store for me. If there is anything I can know for sure, it is that it will never be dull.
Cheers to the New Year! May 2015 be kind to us all!
xoxo
"Healing isn't a single moment. For me, it’s a series of many moments. A life-long journey.
What I carry with me still is not the abuse itself, but what I was met with; the response of the community around me. Most of that response was filled with ignorance, judgment, anger, disbelief, blame, fear and even disgust.
It left me filled with shame.
I know I am not alone in this—that my experience echoes those of so many survivors. I know this is why at the core of my pursuit for healing is also a pursuit for change. My personal mantra is “be the change you wish to see in the world." It drives everything I do." - Maile Zambuto; CEO of the Joyful Heart Foundation